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I am not suggesting that any of the following ideas will totally fix your mental and emotional pain from being single on Valentine’s day. I am suggesting they will help, probably more than you think. Resolve to try a few this year:


1. Watch movies that celebrate friendship rather than romance. Examples include the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Beaches, Friends With Money, Thelma and Louise, Mystic Pizza, Fried Green Tomatoes, Steel Magnolias, Boys on the Side, How to Make an American Quilt, and the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.


2. Call an old friend just to say I love you. I love to do this when loneliness gets too much. If they answer, we always have a lovely chat. If they don’t, I leave a voicemail telling them I just called to say I love you.


3. Send Valentines in the mail or email to your close friends and family. You can go as fancy or simple as you like.


4. Plan a beautiful, fabulous dinner for yourself – love of self is an important skill! I do recommend cooking at home or ordering in, splurging on a fancy dessert or expensive ingredient.


5. Read famous letters between friends or books and poems that celebrate filial love. The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis examines the good and bad of different types of love from a Christian perspective.


6. Replay failed relationships in your head, focusing on what you learned from it or why it’s a good thing they ended. In my experience, the fact that we are still single is often a good thing. Rather than romanticizing your exes, spend sometime on Valentine’s day reminding yourself why they sucked.


7. Watch a performance or plan to attend a live show.


8. Write a list of everything and everyone you are grateful for in your life. Practicing gratitude is a simple exercise that can always help us feel better!


9. Schedule a professional massage. Often single people don’t get enough physical touch, skin-skin contact with another person. Regular professional massages can help offset the craving for human contact.


10. Find an opportunity to do good for others on Valentine’s day. Giving to others usually pulls us out of our own funk. Consider volunteering at a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, or other service opportunities.


I hope this post has inspired you to celebrate being single on Valentine’s day. If taking any of these steps seems overwhelming or like it won’t help at all, please consider seeking a professional counselor.



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